Deadpool-Audition

[Deadpool]

*Click*
' She took my wife away from meh Jerryh!'
*click*
' My baby survived a hurricane, tornado, Earthquake, and a diaper Rash Oprah! and she is only 3 weeks old!'
*click*
Wade looks about his small apartment and glares at the now off television. He sighs and stands. Clad in only his looney toons boxers he was a horrible site. His scars and such from his cancer made him look like a monster from an acid pit. His bold head and brown eyes moves around the place. Weasel was on an information trip so he was there by himself. He walks into the kitchen and looks through the cabinets.

' Now... if I am correct there should be a nice big cookie in here.. somewhere'

He goes to reach for it as the phone rings.

"Weasel I swear this is you, your gonna get it"

He gets the phone.
"Um Hello?"
Weasel answers and talks about the next mission he has to do.
" Yeah... really?... You wanna know what I was about to eat that last cookie... since you really really had to bug me.. I'm eating the cheesey poofs as well" Weasel protest and tells Wade about the big mission. The information geek says it's for the whole world.

" Hold on" He runs and gets his mask. " Go on... Deadpool here"

He nods and does the Uh huh thing only half listening to the geek. He sighs taking in all the information. He hangs up and grabs the big bag of cheesey goodness and sits back on the couch.

" I guess Oprah will have to do"
*Click*

[Uatu the Watcher]

Hmmm… Well, the audition started off decently. It had the makings of becoming a good post. Looney Toons boxers. Cheesy Poofs. Oprah. But, somewhere after that, it declined into something below par. The writing quality dropped substantially. I’m not talking just grammar and spelling errors, but structure. I felt as if there was someone standing in front of me telling me about something they heard about from someone. Writing “he does this” and “he does that.” It makes for bad storytelling. Especially for a character like the “merc with a mouth.” He deserves a little more justice. And a little more effort in any of these areas would have helped.

It took me a while to come to this decision. Your intentions were good. You have some basic understanding of everyone’s favorite masked back talking gunman, but your interpretation of his being just fell short of his glory. All creativity was lost after the twelfth sentence. There was no clear time tense. Not past or presence. I think you need to work on your writing style. If you had put some more effort into the audition’s format, then I would have accepted it. But it seems rushed. Half finished. Like a rough outline before its actual final development. Though this last part wouldn’t have affected you’re a approval process at all, I’m surprised that neither his speech or thoughts were encompassed in his infamous yellow glow. I hope this doesn’t discourage you from attempting to audition once more.

Audition Denied.